Paintings on my skin
Studded in freshly oozing blood
The pearls of physical harrasment
Blocks of black and blue collage
But the memories never healed
Finger marks on my throat as you forced yourself on me
Choking me into puddles of tears
Like a beast pounding me on and on
Your pleasure was more important than the state of my body
I begged you with my palms together
Not today please I am on my periods
You did not listen.
I locked the kids room
In order to keep them safe
So they don’t have to see the beast
The eyes of his sons
Should never know
As they only see him as a hero
But every night I have to face the beast within him
Trapped in my pain to a living nightmare
Morning I am rewarded with sorry it won’t happen again coffee
But this cycle is repeating without a full stop
Hide my wounds with lies
If I speak up I will be ruining my son’s childhood
Suffer in silence so that no will know
Scarifies are a part of being a women they say
What are you supposed to say when you are raped every day
What happens behind the doors of marriage is safe and right
My body is not mine but his to use when ever he feels
Even the words rape and abuse??
To this question I don’t know the answer to
If filing for a divorce was a option
The judgement eye of the society
Torments me to dump it all inside me
Without a word heard coming out of my throat
My harsh reality has a hold on me
©G.V Raghavasree
