Maternal Abuse

Paintings on my skin

Studded in freshly oozing blood

The pearls of physical harrasment

Blocks of black and blue collage

But the memories never healed

Finger marks on my throat as you forced yourself on me

Choking me into puddles of tears

Like a beast pounding me on and on

Your pleasure was more important than the state of my body

I begged you with my palms together

Not today please I am on my periods

You did not listen.

I locked the kids room

In order to keep them safe

So they don’t have to see the beast

The eyes of his sons

Should never know

As they only see him as a hero

But every night I have to face the beast within him

Trapped in my pain to a living nightmare

Morning I am rewarded with sorry it won’t happen again coffee

But this cycle is repeating without a full stop

Hide my wounds with lies

If I speak up I will be ruining my son’s childhood

Suffer in silence so that no will know

Scarifies are a part of being a women they say

What are you supposed to say when you are raped every day

What happens behind the doors of marriage is safe and right

My body is not mine but his to use when ever he feels

Even the words rape and abuse??

To this question I don’t know the answer to

If filing for a divorce was a option

The judgement eye of the society

Torments me to dump it all inside me

Without a word heard coming out of my throat

My harsh reality has a hold on me

©G.V Raghavasree