Miss or Mrs

She…

Today I lost control. Every thing I kept buried inside rushed to the surface. I saw him again after 9 years. Over the years I learnt the art of fooling people with a smile as a proof that every thing was ok so one knew the reason.

I could never be more wrong. I thought I would smile and nod my way through it all. The bad parts of us stay with us. Killing the life out of us.

But why did he have to notice me at the moment of skipping glance. God he still makes me skip a heart beat. Secretly seeing your first crush after 9 years is somehow a weirdly pleasant and creepy.

He comes over to me. What do I do? shit!. Prithvi says,”Doctor how is my Grandmother”. For a moment I was lost.That patient in the ICU room was Prithivi’s Grandmother? I was shocked and lost for words.

The years have done justice to him. He is smoking hot now. His shoulders have broadened and his jaw line is a work of art with gorgeous trimmed beard. The perfect inverted triangle specimen of mankind that my eyes have ever laid eyes on. Could that black leather jacket coupled with black jeans and white shirt look any better. I regained my conscious from the wonderland of 15 year old girl hormones .

I guess he did not recognize me with my mask and yes over the years I changed and lost my baby fat. I said looking pleased into those daunting predator eyes, “Your grandmother’s bypass surgery is finished. We need to monitor her for few days and you will be able to see her after 1 hour. Get her these medicines it will help with the pain. I handed him a paper and turned around thanking god that he didn’t remember me.

My happiness was short lived and there out loud my crush calls out my name. Kyira Ramaswammy? I nervously turn around and looking at him shocked as I removed my mask.

Him….

How can I forget those two cups of hazel coffee brown eyes staring at me even after all these years. After I heard that Grandma is going to be fine and all that I could see and hear is her beautiful eyes and that husky voice of hers. She has changed so much. I can’t believe she lost her pounds. Dame her slow motion turn and finally I saw her. Traditional beauty Kyira is. The hallmark bindhi between her perfect nikey eyebrows and her pinkened cheeks and her long raven black hair tied in a braid like a snake down her spine. Her sun kissed dusky brown skin is radiating with her sweat rolling down her forehead.

She was a feast for my eyes. Never have I ever been so intrigued by a typical south beauty. I had to break this silence before she thinks I am being a pervert and weird. Finally words came into my mouth. Hi Kirya, can’t believe you dont remember me standing right in front of you. How have you been?

Her lips parted to a smile. She stood for few brief seconds observing me and said,” I think you are mistaken Mr Prithivi Williams. I identified you the moment my eyes saw you. You and I have a past and I am trying to be civil here!”. Oche that stung. I was the stud of my school and this girl was a naive back than but I knew she had a secret crush on me. Now I mean nothing to her. I opened my mouth , ” Hi would have been nice to start a conversation. Looks like you are still that over ambitious medical girl who can’t get over a me.. God Kiyra grow up.

She burted out,”Prithivi I wasted 7 god dame years to prove you wrong. I worked my ass off to prove to a dick guy that made fun of my dreams AKA YOU!!!. The worst thing of it all was I fell for you and I have been cursing myself for it and trying to turn my life around and guess what? You had to turn up to ruin it. Look my morals and ethics are above a simple greeting to a old enemy and sorry for wasting your royal highness time.”

She…

I can’t believe I just said that and I have definitely annoyed him. But it did bring out his cocky side and I am loving it how this soft pissed off gaze peels my skin right off and sends shivers of excitement down my spine. God he is a tempting snack. Oh boy this voice, his grin and his playboy character is intoxicating to a lost sole like myself.

I smiled back just to annoy him more. Look Prithivi I am a surgeon and I am expected to behave according to my cadar. I am sorry for behaving like this. Its been a long day and I need coffee in my system for my brain to start working. I am good thankyou and I hope you are doing well in your life?

He smiled back. I am good.I will forgive you if you let me treat you to a coffee. Come on we need to chat. For old times sake.

I had no option but to say yes. It would be awkward if I said no. I finally blurted it out ,” Let me go and get my things from my cabin. . ” I went to my cabin washed my hands and changed my overalls and took my handbag. Called the head nurse and told her I would be going out for a coffee and I would be back in 30 min.

I saw him waiting for me in the corridor. I said there is a cafe near by and we can have coffee there. its only a 5 min walk from here. He nodded and smiled back and told me to lead the way.

Him…

Why does this feel so new and different for me. I feel like a kid who just got caught by his mother for the trouble I have been up to. I dont know. But I am loving this aura of Kiyra. She is so different now perhaps the opposite of she ever was. I have been a douch bag to her for two years straight in school. I knew that she was a typical good girl who would rather suffer silently than say something rude out at the bully. I worth part was I was that bully who preyed on her innocence and I took advantage of the fact she fancied me. I made sure that french classes torture for her. I even got her to write my records. I feel disgusted to tell myself I was that guy. That just makes me more guilty.

She was silent all the way. Lost in her thought. I followed her and we were finally at the cafe. She ordered a mocha and I ordered a latte.

She looked at me and asked How are you Prithivi? Lets start this all again and lets be adults here.

I nodded and said with a smile,” I am doing well and I joined the marine .You Miss or Mrs?”

She gave her sly seducing smile and said,” Isn’t the prefix Doctor enough for you and is there a girl in your Romeo life?”

Me- I laughed as she is rubbing it in for payback and said.” I guess I can see that. You know what I mean. Yes I am in relationship for 2 years and I am planing putting a ring on it. She is a amazing girl. She changed everything about me”

Her- Oh wow congratulations, I am happy for you. Well I have not found anyone yet. With hospital shifts and patients I barely find time for myself and let alone the energy to invest in a relationship.

Me- Thank you. I guess it must be hard. I hope you make yourself available in the dating market out there. You have changed so much. For whats its worth I am glad that you proved me wrong. I have been nothing but a dick and bully to you back in school. I am sorry for that. Hahah Karma is a stone cold bitch. Now it has come to a full circle.

Her- she smiled and said, “Well what goes around comes around. If it weren’t for your words I would been elsewhere. I had to cope with it the hard way. Everything happens for a reason.It made me stronger and independent perhaps. I am happy that you have turned a new leaf. Well I am trilled to meet you again after so many years.

Me- I was shocked at her simple honesty . I smiled back. Her confidence made me smaller somehow. This women in front of me got some balls to stare right into me and feel overwhelmed at how much of a dick I was to her and to not show it. I made fun of her family, body shamed her and even at the extent of her dreams. She self made herself I can clearly see it.

I drank the coffee in utter silence and awkwardness.

After both of us completed our coffees we exchanged memories . Both of us laughed till our stomachs hurt.

She finally said Goodbye and that she has to go back to hospital.

She

I felt a bit lighter and somehow I have made amends with a part of myself. It doesn’t hurt so much now. I am finally over Prithivi. I have faced my worst nightmare with a smile. Life definitely likes to keep me on my toes. I don’t how he felt. I don’t care for once and it feels dame right good. I left the coffee shop with a smile plastered to my face.

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The message behind this story is to never let others opinions weigh you down. Some dreams are worth the fight…

Success- Grinding your goals is the best revenge payback to all the people who underestimated you. Leave them wondering how you do it….

©G.V Raghavasree